Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
