I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize