I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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