Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize