i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is my gift to your gina
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
