I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
