Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
