margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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