CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
