YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
