After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
