I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize