I heard we made out
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
