How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
