Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
