Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
