Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
