his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
