Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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