I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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