Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
