I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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