i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
