Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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