yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
