Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
