guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
