I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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