Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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