Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
