i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
