Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
