It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
