Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
