Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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