I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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