Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
