"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
