I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize