He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
