erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
