I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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