so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
