She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
wow bdsm is so cute
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
