Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
