Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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