He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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