You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
