So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
