Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
