Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
