playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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