I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
