Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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