In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
