she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
