dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this will be a night to untag.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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