you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize