Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
