i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
