Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
