what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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