his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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