she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
