we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
