Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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