The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
